Drunk and Masturbating
Don't know if I can top the lead off paragraphs to this story about Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin:
On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.
Several of the 911 callers that night said Griffin was drunk. One witness said Griffin told him he was watching pornography in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he struck a Chevy Suburban parked on University Avenue Southeast.
Abed Hassuneh, who is the brother of the victim, said Griffin told him, "That he was masturbating himself going down that street. That's how the accident happened because he was not paying attention. He's paying attention to that video and all of a sudden he's shoveled somebody's car on the top of the sidewalk."
Interim Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan ordered an internal affairs investigation of the conduct of the two officers who responded to the scene, after WCCO-TV made Dolan aware of allegations about the incident. Key questions are why Griffin wasn't tested for alcohol and why the officers drove him out of the city to his home in St. Paul. Griffin also received tickets for not having a license and inattentive driving.
What a juicy story! A pro NBA player, pornography, masturbation, alcohol, police officers who “looked the other way”... an enticing and proud story for the great city of Minneapolis. Just when you thought that the Minnesota Viking's off-field antics with booze and hookers couldn't be topped, Griffin steps up to the plate and knocks one out of the park!
Check out the complete story - it includes a news report video worth watching, which has several choice clips from the security camera of the liquor store where the accident occured.